Yes, the play on words is entirely intentional. My weight is over the prescribed limit that I ever thought I would see. Part of it was indeed due to pregnancy, when you are expected to gain a few pounds. But I will tell you that I followed doctor’s orders to the letter and did NOT gain more than the 18 pounds he allowed me. So the question is why I am I so…and let’s call a spade a spade here…FAT now?
There are two really poor excuses but good reasons why. One, when I started dating my future hubby, I stopped almost all semblance of sensible eating as he wined and dined me. We went to posh restaurants far and near, and indulged in every type of meat, starch, dessert and alcoholic beverage you can imagine. So it’s no wonder that the 30 pounds it took me THREE LONG ARDUOUS YEARS to take off through Wasa crackers and Bally Total Fitness came back like a charging rhino in heat—with another rhino! So to put it not so gently, I was fat before I even got pregnant.
The other reason (excuse, whatever) that I am so fat now is called postpartum. Some people get postpartum depression. But not me; instead, I came down with an extreme case of the postpartum gimmes. Gimme some cake; gimme some alcohol; gimme some tuna, of all things! All the things I was restricted to when I was pregnant and breastfeeding became non-issues the moment my son got addicted to Enfamil®. As a matter of fact, one of the first meals the nurse gave me was a tuna fish sandwich, and it was the BEST TUNA SANDWICH EVER! For those of you who have read my O Marvelous Caffeine! blog, this freedom from restriction is not new to you. But it is why I gained postpartum weight.
Now of course, my challenge is once again to lose weight. In the more immediate time frame though, I think my primary goal will just have to simply not gain anymore weight during the course of this year. Having my son and the new commute and the new house and the soon-to-be new car plus a new teaching schedule in the fall will severely hamper the time I have to get physically fit by means of exercise, so I will have to rely on curtailing my calorie intake. I said this to myself even as I grabbed the cake donut from 7-11 this morning. Apparently though, God with His infinite sense of humor decided to help me keep my word because when I got to work, I promptly picked the donut bag up upside-down, thereby making the donut roll under my chair. So all I had left to eat was a very healthy banana.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Laconic vs. Verbose
As you’ve seen from reading my many blogs, I have a way with words, sometimes too many ways. Now with the magic of Facebook, I find that I have an appropriate venue for those little blurbs of life that occur all too frequently, but not frequently enough for me to open a Twitter account (but I won’t rule it out for future use). Most of the time when I post status messages on Fb, they are just clear enough to be witty, but often vague enough that if you haven’t been keeping up with my posts, you’d be lost. Such is the case with one of my last status messages where I just put “car totaled,” lamenting that my car was counted a total loss by the insurance company. In this case, I should have been a bit more verbose and explained that it was a singular car accident, not two subsequent ones. If you read my post from last week, you’ll know the cause and part of the outcome. But I will briefly list some of the damage to the vehicle to give you an idea of just how blessed I am:
• Bashed-in hood and grill, to the point that my front license plate is in the shape of a U.
• Airbag deployed
• Dashboard and steering column separation
• Engine damage; fluid spillage
In my very first accident, someone told me that any accident you can walk away from is never that bad, and I’ve been fortunate enough to escape virtually unscathed. At first, I was merely paying this saying lip service but the realization is that people get killed every day by other vehicles. There are constantly stories on the news about fatal car crashes or pedestrians being struck with a force hard enough to knock off their shoes. But I reacted well enough not to hit any other cars or any other people on foot, and for that I am grateful. But pray for me, gentle readers, so that I will never be blessed in this manner again because collisions are scary! No matter how minor the damage to your body, your mind is affected; when you close your eyes for the first few days, you relive the impact. And you’re paranoid in any vehicle, even when you’re not driving, often pumping imaginary brakes while holding onto the door handle until your knuckles turn white. But the best cure is always to get back behind the wheel.
• Bashed-in hood and grill, to the point that my front license plate is in the shape of a U.
• Airbag deployed
• Dashboard and steering column separation
• Engine damage; fluid spillage
In my very first accident, someone told me that any accident you can walk away from is never that bad, and I’ve been fortunate enough to escape virtually unscathed. At first, I was merely paying this saying lip service but the realization is that people get killed every day by other vehicles. There are constantly stories on the news about fatal car crashes or pedestrians being struck with a force hard enough to knock off their shoes. But I reacted well enough not to hit any other cars or any other people on foot, and for that I am grateful. But pray for me, gentle readers, so that I will never be blessed in this manner again because collisions are scary! No matter how minor the damage to your body, your mind is affected; when you close your eyes for the first few days, you relive the impact. And you’re paranoid in any vehicle, even when you’re not driving, often pumping imaginary brakes while holding onto the door handle until your knuckles turn white. But the best cure is always to get back behind the wheel.
Friday, July 8, 2011
At-TEN-tion!
The great, and admittedly sometimes annoying, thing about writing is that once you start one thing, loads of ideas come forth. And so this is one of many entries that I plan to work on today, or at least for the next half hour or so.
But as for the title, this is something I need to pay more of. To give you an idea of why I say this, let me start off with some recent current events in my life. As many of you know, last week I was involved in a car accident—of one. And inevitably, when I tell people this, the first question that they ask is naturally, “What happened?” The long and short of the answer is that as I crossed an intersection, I bumped a curb and could not un-bump it. This resulted in my first hitting a speed limit/snow emergency route sign, followed closely be a utility pole. Though the entire experience was terrifying, the worst part of it was the panic that I might have caused injury to my son. This fear caused me to leap out of the vehicle, sans shoes (they had flown off upon impact with the pole) and run frantically out to get him. The electrical systems in the car had shut down so I could automatically open the door and had to reach across the seat to get to him. With God’s mercy (I say this now instead of luckily), there were an abundant amount people (they are euphemistically called good Samaritans thanks to the Bible) who came to my aid and helped me/stayed with me while the paramedics, police, and fire engines were dispatched. Can I remember any of their names/faces? No, but I am so thankful that they were there.
I’m using this blog as a catharsis to make full confession of the fact that I was not at full attention that day. Don’t get me wrong; I was not physically doing any activity that took my attention from the road: I wasn’t texting or talking on the cell; I wasn’t putting on makeup or drinking a beverage; I wasn’t fiddling with the radio or any of those other things that are commonly done behind the wheel. I even had both hands on the wheel and was listening to the Yolanda Adams show as I do every morning. And if you were to ask me, I was paying attention to the road.
Here’s where I went wrong: I was occupied with my thoughts. That morning, I was thinking about the next day when I would go visit my mother, and I was thinking about how much it would cost me. So in a sense I was there, but I wasn’t there. One of the things that I have constantly been lecturing myself and others about is being PRESENT. There’s a clichéd saying: the past is history; the future’s a mystery…the present is a gift. That means when you’re driving a car, you should be driving the car, and paying attention to the road and how many cars are in front of you or behind you; in what proximity these cars are; or in my case, how close you are to a curb. And then I took this meaning beyond the car accident and the revelation of WHY I was in the car accident dawned upon me. When we travel long distances or to unfamiliar places or when we use someone else’s car, we tend to be more cautious because we’re conscious that we not as familiar with that road or that vehicle. But statistically, people get in more accidents closer to home; I am living proof of that as I have been in three vehicle collisions close to home, two of which were less than a mile from where I lived. And when we have someone else’s stuff, we ought to take care of it like it’s our own stuff, and vice versa. We should be taking care of “our” stuff like it doesn’t belong to us. The rental car that I have been provided is spotless; nothing is left in there because I know I have to clean it out and return it in good condition. Yet when I had to clear my vehicle at the scene of the accident, there was enough stuff to put into four garbage bags, and most of the stuff was trash or papers that could have just as easily been thrown away.
I say all this to say that it is with the familiar that we tend not to be as vigilant, and my advice today is that we should be ever vigilant even with the familiar, especially since we are guaranteed none of it. Everything is temporary, and even above that, all this temporary stuff is not ours to begin with. So my morning prayer today had to include an apology to God for not taking care of His stuff.
So pay attention gentle readers.
But as for the title, this is something I need to pay more of. To give you an idea of why I say this, let me start off with some recent current events in my life. As many of you know, last week I was involved in a car accident—of one. And inevitably, when I tell people this, the first question that they ask is naturally, “What happened?” The long and short of the answer is that as I crossed an intersection, I bumped a curb and could not un-bump it. This resulted in my first hitting a speed limit/snow emergency route sign, followed closely be a utility pole. Though the entire experience was terrifying, the worst part of it was the panic that I might have caused injury to my son. This fear caused me to leap out of the vehicle, sans shoes (they had flown off upon impact with the pole) and run frantically out to get him. The electrical systems in the car had shut down so I could automatically open the door and had to reach across the seat to get to him. With God’s mercy (I say this now instead of luckily), there were an abundant amount people (they are euphemistically called good Samaritans thanks to the Bible) who came to my aid and helped me/stayed with me while the paramedics, police, and fire engines were dispatched. Can I remember any of their names/faces? No, but I am so thankful that they were there.
I’m using this blog as a catharsis to make full confession of the fact that I was not at full attention that day. Don’t get me wrong; I was not physically doing any activity that took my attention from the road: I wasn’t texting or talking on the cell; I wasn’t putting on makeup or drinking a beverage; I wasn’t fiddling with the radio or any of those other things that are commonly done behind the wheel. I even had both hands on the wheel and was listening to the Yolanda Adams show as I do every morning. And if you were to ask me, I was paying attention to the road.
Here’s where I went wrong: I was occupied with my thoughts. That morning, I was thinking about the next day when I would go visit my mother, and I was thinking about how much it would cost me. So in a sense I was there, but I wasn’t there. One of the things that I have constantly been lecturing myself and others about is being PRESENT. There’s a clichéd saying: the past is history; the future’s a mystery…the present is a gift. That means when you’re driving a car, you should be driving the car, and paying attention to the road and how many cars are in front of you or behind you; in what proximity these cars are; or in my case, how close you are to a curb. And then I took this meaning beyond the car accident and the revelation of WHY I was in the car accident dawned upon me. When we travel long distances or to unfamiliar places or when we use someone else’s car, we tend to be more cautious because we’re conscious that we not as familiar with that road or that vehicle. But statistically, people get in more accidents closer to home; I am living proof of that as I have been in three vehicle collisions close to home, two of which were less than a mile from where I lived. And when we have someone else’s stuff, we ought to take care of it like it’s our own stuff, and vice versa. We should be taking care of “our” stuff like it doesn’t belong to us. The rental car that I have been provided is spotless; nothing is left in there because I know I have to clean it out and return it in good condition. Yet when I had to clear my vehicle at the scene of the accident, there was enough stuff to put into four garbage bags, and most of the stuff was trash or papers that could have just as easily been thrown away.
I say all this to say that it is with the familiar that we tend not to be as vigilant, and my advice today is that we should be ever vigilant even with the familiar, especially since we are guaranteed none of it. Everything is temporary, and even above that, all this temporary stuff is not ours to begin with. So my morning prayer today had to include an apology to God for not taking care of His stuff.
So pay attention gentle readers.
W. Bruce Cameron: One of My Blog Inspirations
At first, I almost decided to do a movie review as my blog entry. This is something I like to do occasionally when a good movie stands out to me. I used to submit reviews to the NYT when I went to the movies, but when I watch them on DVD, I would just write them and save them. But thanks to the venue of Facebook, I can now share them with my 394 friends (or at least those who choose to read this). But I will save the review for later, as I found a more interesting topic in my inbox this morning. So, in spite of the fact that I skipped last week and completely ignored yesterday’s deadline, here is today’s blog.
I don’t feel quite so bad about my lack of consistency after reading W. Bruce Cameron’s subscription newsletter where he apologizes by saying
“I did notice that I neglected to send a few columns there for a couple of months. This is after shooting off my big mouth about how I was going to be reliable and always send them out and I had a new system. Frankly, I’d fire myself, but I can’t find a replacement who will work for the same pay.”
I will freely admit that he is among one of my great inspirations to write this blog, and he is very funny on a consistent basis. For those of you who don’t know who he is, he was the source of inspiration for ABC’s sitcom “8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter,” one of John Ritter’s last performing roles (RIP Mr. Ritter; you were classically funny). He is also the source of possibly one of the greatest email forwards that has been circulated and re-circulated for as long as I’ve had a desktop PC and that is “The Chili Cookoff” where he…well it’s so dag-on funny that you will have to read it for yourself, so I will now shamelessly and freely advertise and solicit for him by saying in order to share in my laughter, you can go to http://letters.webvalence.com/listmgr/subscribe?lists=TheCameronColumn and subscribe for yourself. He promises not to be overly intrusive and will only disturb your inbox twice a month; not bad for a good humorist. And he gives you “The Chili Cookoff” (the original) as part of your reading pleasure. You can also Google it, but you will more than likely get the modified version with the character of Frank. Again I will mention that he is where I ascribe to be and hopefully keeping up with his column will keep me on the straight and narrow path to writing.
I don’t feel quite so bad about my lack of consistency after reading W. Bruce Cameron’s subscription newsletter where he apologizes by saying
“I did notice that I neglected to send a few columns there for a couple of months. This is after shooting off my big mouth about how I was going to be reliable and always send them out and I had a new system. Frankly, I’d fire myself, but I can’t find a replacement who will work for the same pay.”
I will freely admit that he is among one of my great inspirations to write this blog, and he is very funny on a consistent basis. For those of you who don’t know who he is, he was the source of inspiration for ABC’s sitcom “8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter,” one of John Ritter’s last performing roles (RIP Mr. Ritter; you were classically funny). He is also the source of possibly one of the greatest email forwards that has been circulated and re-circulated for as long as I’ve had a desktop PC and that is “The Chili Cookoff” where he…well it’s so dag-on funny that you will have to read it for yourself, so I will now shamelessly and freely advertise and solicit for him by saying in order to share in my laughter, you can go to http://letters.webvalence.com/listmgr/subscribe?lists=TheCameronColumn and subscribe for yourself. He promises not to be overly intrusive and will only disturb your inbox twice a month; not bad for a good humorist. And he gives you “The Chili Cookoff” (the original) as part of your reading pleasure. You can also Google it, but you will more than likely get the modified version with the character of Frank. Again I will mention that he is where I ascribe to be and hopefully keeping up with his column will keep me on the straight and narrow path to writing.
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